I've been drinking coffee all friggin' day...thanks to my late night. There is something painful and therapeutic about coming back to work after a terrible vacation break and knowing it will put things in perspective. I needed to be here this week. Despite my deep desire to extend my time away from the office. I love my job.
My office mate embraces my crazy rambling and caffeinated lifestyle and we even share coffee duty. (I bought a maker for the office) This is the place where I started to work on finding Me...again. It's tough but I knew running up and down the stairs during production and keeping up with the crazy Time Zone conference calls would make the move away from HSD more palatable. And while this is just my place of work, these people know Me. They can sense when there is a Disturbance in the Force and some of my closest friends are here (like Yet-To-Be-Named-Coworker). Some may find it a smidgen pathetic but when I traded in the Bio for my freedom, I traded a lot of my really good friends too. When I left, they left too. Pooh on them.
After last night I don't feel so bad. I'm not at all the wreck I had planned on being and I have not shed a single tear. Perfectly did this whole part of my life simply come to a close and without much fanfare or even the hint of depression on the forefront. I'm just me today. Single still but me. And that isn't so bad. I thought if HSD and I ever ended it would devastate my very core and shake up everything around me...but knowing what I know today about him and his life and the work he still needs to do, I'm not sure my life is as shaken as his possibly is with the news.
Love can only do so much for someone. And I'm only human.
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