With all the dating nonsense that's been going on and all the emotions that flow out of my mind daily I decided I needed an honest 'Mom Talk'. My Mom and I (and my sister) have always been close, even when we all want to kill each other for silly girlie things. SO whenever I'm angsty about stuff I usually give in and ask my Mom for her advice...or at least to listen to me blabber. So yesterday while waiting for the Monkey to get home from his overnight with the Bio, I did it. I talked to my Mom about my current love dilemma.
Back Story on the Parental Units:
My Mom and Dad have been married for somewhere around 32 years, no one is really sure because there is no proof. As in proof, I mean goopy 70's wedding photos, no dress and matching Go-Go Boots to pass down or certificate with said date of marriage. As a kid I used to revel in the idea of being a true 'love child' but alas my Mom one day got so upset at my daydreaming that she ripped me a new one about it. I think I was 18. The circumstances around their nuptials have the makings of a great love song or a really sappy movie. Two star-crossed loves who jumped on a plane to Vegas and tied the knot because no one thought they would do it. No one believed it would last. Neither of their parental units gave their blessings and most family members saw my Dad as a crazy Hippy dude who wore no undies (even his parents...seriously). But my Mom adored him and she still does. My parents got married within 90 days of knowing each other.
Their story always made me so proud as a kiddo. My parents put aside so many differences to be together...cultural and otherwise. And in spite of many up hill battles that I wasn't aware of until I was older they have stuck it out and with so much seriousness in her tone my Mom admits she'd do it the same over and over again.
So her take on my current situation? To paraphrase her thoughts...
My Mom believes that love comes when you least expect it and that even if you fall in love with twenty people there is one person out there who is meant for you and only you. Sometimes people are lucky enough to find that person yet, sadly many do not. Her notions were that if someone is looking at me and my heart and truly wants to be with ME than how can that be wrong? Unless of course I think he's a 'diptard' (her using my words) and want nothing to do with him. And yet after we got through all the back and forth questions she told me not to be afraid and to just live in my moment because that's what is important.
Food for thought...right?
Of course...so I sat on this one all night and didn't get much sleep while thinking about how it felt to be told by someone that all he wants is to get to know me honestly without interruption. Can that be wrong? Not that I see myself getting married in 90 days, but I think fear interrupts so much of my life daily that I can't let myself be afraid of this...can I

4 comments:
Honestly, and this will sound strange, but my current bf told me that he loved me on the phone no less before we ever even met.
Co-dependency? Maybe.
He too wanted to be monogamous after hours of conversation and only one meeting.
We've been together 6 months now but we're actually taking things slowly, moment by moment, day by day.
Breathe. Enjoy. Relish the moment.
@T: Beautiful advice. I think for me with the Bio everything was so by the book it was just not who we wanted to be...I want to be me and in love.
My grandparents got married after they knew each other less than 3 weeks. They've been married for 53 years now. They've always had a very unique, explosive relationship, but they've always loved each other and always remained attached at the hip.
DH and I got engaged after 9 months of dating, and got married 6 months after that. I don't know if we'll last 53 years, but I do know that he's a catch (even if I complain incessantly about him because being married is VERY very very hard for somebody like me.)
I say take it day by day. Let things happen as slowly or as quickly as they need to.
It sounds to me like this guy is "into you" - just make sure you're "into him" too.
I agree day by day is best...I forget about living in the moment and just letting life happen in a good way.
Post a Comment